Pam's Monthly Insights
October 2006
Hello friends,
Thanks to you for your continued support and positive feedback. Each month we gain more readers, so welcome, sit back and enjoy.
I warned you that September was going to be a wild one. Hopefully it all worked out for the best in the end. The end of the month should have been much better than the beginning! Many of you may be in an entirely new situation at the start of this month, hopefully, a healthier and happier one. October promises to be more fun for everyone.
Thanks to all of you for tuning in to the premiere of Sensing Murder last week. It was rated the number one show for Discovery Channel on Thursday. Keep tuning in and soon we will be shooting more episodes. Better yet, write to Discovery Channel and tell them you want more The show will air every Thursday at 10:00 p.m. this month. To read about upcoming episodes you can visit my web site. I also want to thank all of you for your book title suggestions. The winner is "When I Close My Eyes". Look for it next year.
Every month I meditate on what to write about for the month and what you most need to read. Love and relationships immediately sprang to mind. So, I am going to talk about those mysterious "others" we attract into our lives and how they reflect what's happening inside us. I will be sharing parts of one of the best articles (thank you Dana) I have every read on the subject. It was published in 1995 in the Mountain Astrologer but I ran across it recently when cleaning out a drawer. Synchronicity at it's finest! Dealing with change and making positive choices is second in line. What does follow your heart really mean? Lastly, I want to explore the concept of Hooponopono and the work of Dr. Hew Len.
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In this issue:
- Quote of the Month
- Dancing with Myself
- Try It On
- Hooponopono
- Media- Sensing Murder
- Pam's Book Recommendation
- Signing Off
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Quotes of the month
Doc Childre and Sara Paddison, HeartMath Discovery Program
Love is not automatic. It takes conscious practice and awareness, just like playing the piano or golf. However, you have ample opportunities to practice. Everyone you meet can be your practice session.
Jason Jordan
True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
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Dancing with Myself
"Any individual who provokes us to a strong emotional response, who affects us, has unwittingly invited us to dance with our shadow self." Dana Gerhardt. http://www.mooncircles.com/
Being human and living on this earth means sharing our lives with others, many others. Some people will affect us deeply and some we will hardly notice. Why do we draw some people to us and repel others? Why do we fall in love with someone and slowly grow to hate the very things we fell in love with? I believe all of our relationships are a reflection of our inner selves and more often than not, our discarded or what I call "shadow selves". The people we meet provoke us out of ourselves, to grow, and confront the parts of ourselves we refuse to acknowledge.
Dana writes "It is sad that we often finish our romantic fairy tales this way: hating our partners for the very reasons we were drawn to them in the first place. But why should this be so? Here is one of my theories. The persona that we present to the world was hatched in our early nest, that collection of traits good and bad that we were allowed to craft into our conscious myth about ourselves. We must have had some other basket in which to throw the disowned or rejected qualities that didn't fit that myth. The deal was that it was okay to be this person but not okay to be that. So what a mysterious and powerful attraction we must feel when someone arrives on the stage reminding us of all those bits of self we threw away, yet what strong habits of rejection when they come close."
She goes on to say "certainly this explains much of the emotional violence in relationships, the sharp and treacherous hooks of mutual projection that hang invisibly between the two. And I think this holds true, not just for marriage partners, but for all our partners, teachers, students, clients, business partners, lovers and mates."
Let's examine this a bit further. If as a child you were taught to be analytical, organized and practical and it was not okay to be creative, dreamy and emotional because that was "flaky" you might well find yourself attracted to those very qualities in a mate. In a perfect, growth oriented world, you would let them teach you something about the benefits of being more dreamy and creative. You would assimilate these qualities back into your own personality and thus become more whole. What happens more often goes something like this ... you loved the romance, poetry and music when you first met but now wish your mate would "grow up" and act more responsibly.
Take a long look at your past and current loves to see what qualities are repeating. This will give you a clue about your shadow self and help you love and accept yourself and those you draw into your ring.
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Try It On
These high tech times we live in have created information overload. Making an informed decision can be downright daunting with so much information literally at our fingertips. Malcolm Gladwell, best selling author of Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. states , "We have two kinds of thought. The first is rational, deliberate and conscious thought that we analyze and cherish. The other is the kind of thinking that occurs below the level of awareness, and it doesn't happen slowly and deliberately, but really quickly. We tend to dismiss the later in our society but in the past few years psychologists have referred to this as the product of the adaptive unconscious. It's a kind of big computer that does all the background tasks. It's powerful and fast, but because it's not part of our consciousness, it's rather mysterious."
We weigh and balance and think and analyze ourselves into a heap of stress and anxiety. Gladwell is on to something. It's instinctive decision making. Most people find that their first instinct usually proves itself correct with time.
When I was younger, I would flip a coin. I'd find myself saying "okay, two out of three" if I didn't like the way it fell. This process helped me figure out what I really wanted then I'd follow my truest desire once I figured out what that was. Asking yourself yes or no questions is the easiest. "Is such and such good for me?" Do you feel happy and light or a tightening in the stomach? Do you picture a red light or a green light?
Nancy Rasanoff offers a very interesting method, called "Try it on!" Simply stated, pretend your option is a set of clothes. How do you like them? How do they fit? She presents the method in three steps.
Step 1. Relax and think about your options.
Step 2. Now "try on" your different options, as if you were trying on different outfits. Imagine yourself living in the decision? The one that feels good, light and positive is the one for you.
Here is an example. I was helping a client decide if she should sell her home and relocate or stay where she was. She was feeling stuck but also afraid to make such drastic changes. First she imagined living the same life she has been living and the smaller changes she could make to create more fun and joy in her life. Then she imagined a whole new life in a new place with new people and new surroundings. The choice became crystal clear for her. She sold her house a week later and things worked out wonderfully for her. Things fell into place almost magically and she was no longer fearful but excited about stepping into her new life.
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Hooponopono
I'm sorry. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you
The World's Most Unusual Therapist
Two years ago I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who healed people but never saw them.
He worked in a mental hospital for criminals. Patients there were sedated and often even shackled. Staff called in sick a lot because they hated their job, the patients, and the environment.
But this therapist turned all that around. He did it solely by working on himself, doing an updated ancient Hawaiian healing method called.
It took me two years to accept this story. I was fascinated but thought it was an urban myth. After all, how could a therapist cure anyone by working on himself and not even seeing the actual patients? It didn't make any sense.
I heard about this therapist again this past summer. The story began to bug me so I began to research it. It seemed to take forever to find the man, but I did. I emailed him, asked if I could interview him, and he agreed.
We spoke on the phone for an hour. He's now elderly, lives in California and Hawaii, and teaches people how to do this updated old healing method in private seminars.
He told me that he worked at that mental hospital for two years. He said it's true that he never saw a client. What he would do was look at the patient's file and then look within himself, trying to clear what was in him that created the patient and his condition.
Huh?
The therapist said everything in your life is created from within you. When you change you, the outer world changes.
I've heard this before, of course. I've even written about this in my book, The Attractor Factor. But this unusual therapist was taking the idea of total responsibility into unknown territory. He was claiming that he could heal people --- even mentally ill criminals --- by healing himself.
He went on to tell me that in a few months of doing his inner work at that hospital, patients began to improve. Many that needed sedated no longer needed sedated. Many that were in chains could be freed. And many that had been in the mental hospital for seven years, were actually being released.
Even the staff started to get better, beginning to love their job and joyfully showing up to work every day. In fact, so many patients got better, that the hospital closed.
Incredible. Simply incredible.
I wanted to know more. I kept probing to find out how this therapist actually heals himself to heal others. What was he doing inside himself, anyway?
"I just keep cleaning," is all he could say.
Well, I'm leaving today to go see this therapist. I'm catching a plane to LA in just a few hours. I'm attending his seminar. I'll do my best to report what happens at his workshop when I get back next week.
For now, check out this unusual therapist, named Ihaleakala Hew Len, and the updated ho'oponopono process at http://www.hooponopono.org
If nothing else, be sure to read the mind-expanding article at http://www.hooponopono.org/Articles/self_i-dentity.html
Joe Vitale
ManifestingMyLife.com
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Media
Sensing Murder
Airing Thursday's at 10:00 p.m. on Discovery Channel. Thanks for watching!!
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Pam's Book Recommendation
Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, by Malcolm Gladwell.
Pam's DVD Recommendation
The Secret
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Thanks to all of you who have written to say nice things about my newsletter. I hope you continue to enjoy it and it brings fulfillment or joy to you in some way.
Love,
Pam
